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Key Terms
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence isn’t just about someone hitting you; it’s any pattern of behavior that’s meant to control, manipulate, or scare you. It can show up in different ways—physical, emotional, financial, or even verbal abuse. Basically, if someone’s making you feel unsafe, isolated, or trapped in a relationship, that’s domestic violence.
Am I being emotionally abused?
Emotional abuse is tricky because there are no bruises to point to, but it can hurt just as much. If someone constantly makes you doubt yourself, calls you names, or uses guilt and shame to control you—guess what? That’s emotional abuse. If you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells or your confidence has taken a nosedive since being around this person, something’s up.
Am I being financially abused?
If someone’s keeping you broke on purpose, that’s financial abuse. This could mean they control all the money, give you an “allowance,” or even stop you from working. They might rack up debt in your name or make you feel like you can’t leave because you have no financial safety net. It’s all about control, and this kind of abuse can leave you feeling stuck.
How to help a friend/family member in an abusive relationship?
First off, listen—really listen—without judgment. Don’t push them to leave before they’re ready because that could make things worse. Offer support, remind them they’re not alone, and help them create a safety plan. Most importantly, respect their choices, even if you don’t agree with them, because leaving an abusive relationship is complicated.
Am I being verbally abused?
Verbal abuse is when words are used as weapons. If someone’s constantly yelling, insulting, or criticizing you to tear you down, that’s abuse. This could also include threats or any kind of speech designed to make you feel worthless, scared, or small.
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What is battered woman syndrome?
Battered Woman Syndrome (BWS) is a psychological condition that can develop after someone’s been in a long-term abusive relationship. It’s like PTSD, but specific to domestic violence. Women (or men) in these situations often feel trapped, helpless, and scared to leave—even if the abuse is severe. Over time, they may start to believe the abuse is their fault or that they deserve it, which is why it’s so hard to walk away. Recognizing BWS is crucial for understanding why someone might stay in an abusive relationship despite obvious danger.
How to quickly identify red flags
The red flags of abuse can be subtle at first, like someone being overly jealous or controlling where you go, who you talk to, or what you wear. Other red flags include love-bombing (over-the-top flattery early on), isolating you from friends and family, or making you feel responsible for their happiness. Trust your gut—if something feels off, it probably is.
How do I set strong boundaries?
Setting boundaries is all about knowing your worth and sticking to it. Decide what you will and won’t tolerate, then make that crystal clear to others. This could mean saying “no” without feeling guilty, standing up for yourself when someone crosses a line, or walking away from toxic situations. The key is to enforce those boundaries consistently—no exceptions!
What is narcissistic personality disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition where someone has an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for attention and admiration. People with NPD often lack empathy and will manipulate or use others to get what they want. In relationships, they may love-bomb you at first, only to tear you down later. They crave control and power, making them likely to be abusive, emotionally, and verbally.
Tips when filing your restraining order
The best advice is to document everything. Write it down and take pictures. Record what you can and be detailed on your paperwork. Tell the story.